怎麼了？

最近心情鬱悶
好想哭的感覺
好想跑到沒有人的海邊去大喊
但是
我怕有壞人。。。

哎喲
真沒有膽。。。

我的愛戀
為什麼每次都是單戀
大概真的是沒有膽吧！
心裡其實是自卑的
總是認為自己很糟糕
不值得被愛
不過又渴望被愛

我以為
自己隱藏得很好
但是
一次忘了我的生日
可以讓自己變得不像自己了
我都搞不清楚自己到底要什麼了

其實
心裡是想要被重視吧！
希望自己欣賞、覺得重要的人也把自己放在重要的位置
但是
這其實是很荒謬的事情吧！
所以
當自己覺得不受重視的時候
也會有報復的想法
也好在自己膽小
所以做不出什麼荒唐的事情吧！
不過
我還真的是蠻偏激的。。。

迎新舞會

第一個迎新舞會
你的出現成了我眼中唯一的光芒
之後相知相識
但是
我從來不知道在你眼裡
我到底在哪裡

第二個迎新舞會
我成了舞會中的單獨影子
你邀請新生們共舞的身影
對我是一種諷刺
又或者
是要一巴掌打醒我的夢

是的
夢是該醒了
只是
它更真實的讓我知道
你
不會參與我的未來

What is your comment?

Is the paper looks familiar to you? Yes, it is on my lesson plan book... Well, what is your comment? I'm quite shocked when I saw this...

Learning Disabilities... a disaster?

Last week, I chat with an athlete from Kuching for second times. We can't chatted long for the first time because he said he is having lots of school works to do. So I feel weird when we can chat so long for the second times. I asked him if he need time to study later. He told me that he just finish the examination. He mentioned that he is quite hardworking in study but still couldn't score higher because of the memorize problem. He even told me that he couldn't answer a question in History about 'Tamadun', so he just put in whatever answer he can find, and last he pun in the answer "Janji ditepati". I burst into laugh with him. But after that, I feel sorry about him.
This is a common problem among my students. But I cannot do anything, just try my best to make my lesson fun and creative so that it might help my students to memorize even only a bit.
During the staff meeting, again I feel quite sad with the news wanna Special Education Program to move out from the school.
We take care of every place given to us as the classroom for our special students.
From block A, we move to block D because the school leader wanna take it as an office and now it turns to be useless, or perhaps a store for the prizes. Block D almost collapse, so we move to block E. We tiled the floor and make particial in the room. After everything done, we're been ordered to move to block B which is unorganized. We takes 3 years to complete it with the fans, air conditioners, new washrooms, particial for PK room, and a new kitchen. Then we need to ready to move out again?! Because of no more block for school and no more space for us with a total 70 plus students, 10 teachers and 4 PPMs?
Therefore, why we need to make our place so comfortable until others keep on aiming to taking the place? But no matter what, life won't be too hard for us because we are close together and can do a lot of job on our own. Now I do hope we can move to a better place with better administration that won't limit our students to show their brilliant. Just because we love, so we serve.

Candid...

Feel quite fun when someone have some special reaction towards my camera... all candid.. hahaha

Naughtiest Special Education Teacher? Am I?

Think I'm quite naughty... even the athlete (one of the orange shirts) stunned with my reaction... hahaha

Korea trip... during...

The trip started at night... I couldn't sleep well, a bit of anxiety... It's a different world from mine... Look at my team leader... haha... must agree that I'm quite stress... can I pass her qualification... don't blame me... too much complaints make me feels that... will I be the next in her complaints? Hahaha... I know myself... too childish and too naughty sometimes, a bit clumsy... and now plus another problem... I'm in great stress... from the school and also the parents... for the health and the safety of the students. Stress also from my athlete coach, is he reliable? Hopefully just won't lost control...
Actually I do hope that I can calm down a bit, don't be so stress, just relax... but think of the school... just feel like wanna cry...
The only time I can forgot about those things is just when I play the sledge at Seocho ... haha, because I need to focus...

Luckily everything is under control till we had the competition at PyeongChang...

31 January 2013. It wasn't a good day for me... that's what I thought... Nadzzal fall and hurt his knee and Abg's leg got twisted by the opponent team... Our DAL and I sent him to the hospital using the ambulance... I try to stay calm in order to make him feel better... I try to grab out joke which I can to make him feel happier and less worry about the leg... Actually in my mind, I thought of the news which I heard this morning... A Floor Hockey athlete from Isle of Man which passed away this morning...
It's such a long time in the hospital... waiting... registration... waiting... move the bed to another place... waiting again... to the x-ray... waiting outside... after x-ray, move to another place again... and finally, the DAL got an ambulance to send us back...
The second match should have finish... wondering how is other athletes doing? Are them alright? Anyone get hurt again? Anyone helps? Thousand of questions and feel released when they're back, safe and healthy...
Feel pity for Abg... can't involve in running games again to avoid the same incident... this is the second times he got his leg twisted badly and he need to rest for 3 days... But I can't show my worries, try my best to stay cheerful and making jokes to make them forgot about the pain... even when the bandage tear off some of the leg hair... sorry... ;p Actually purposely...

2nd February 2013, Abg is getting better, can walk to the cafeteria and can join in the match again... just don't run too much... but Gabriel gets sick... for 5 days... can't join most of the important matches... Firdaus gets kick on the butt, must be hurt quite badly and make him lost his temper, feels don't want to join the match again. I feel rather pity to him. He is so slim and so hurt, but none can help. The opponent team even broke his shinguard into two! But I only can encourage him and promise to present him amount of the t-shirt according as his score... and for the match with Canada East on 4th February, he manages to score 3 points. Bravo!

5th February 2013, Adik get sick... for 3 days, keeps on headache... on and off for 3 days... even during the Closing Ceremony and during the flight we still busy massaging for him.. . Lody also sick for 2 days, looks rather weak, but luckily better before we set off to the airport. Nadzzal gets stomatchache, also on and off for 3 days... thought he is better when depart to KL, but after the nasi lemak in the flight, it start all over again...

We got blonze metals... but actually in my prayer... I do hope all the athletes were safe and healthy all the time... but if we got nothing, I know that there are another problem for me... from the school perhaps...
Luckily everything ends already. Everyone is peace and healthy... Although no concern from the public, even from the politician... Who cares, as long as everything is ok... and we're back safety... that's my concern... Pray for everyone good health and happy always...